In Real Time

I never get headaches but right now I have a headache the size of Toledo. I think I must be about to die, or maybe tomorrow will be the end of the world. In any case, you heard it here first.

Motherhood Moment

Our neighbor Tomi's mother died a few days ago and Annie and I talked about it as we prepared food to bring to her.

Me: "Why do you think it's good to make food for someone whose mother just died?"

Annie: "I think it's good because Tomi has people who care for her like her husband and her daughter, and she also had her mother who cared for her. But now her mother is gone so Tomi must feel like there's one less person who cares for her. When we make food for her and her family, it's like we're caring for her and telling her that we can fill that space."

Closing the Gap

When I was a teenager I wanted to look like someone other than myself. I hated the space between my two front teeth and begged my parents to get me a retainer to close it up. And although they loved that gap, they understood the fragility of an adolescent girl and gave in.

As it turned out, I wasn't diligent in wearing the thing and at some point I lost it altogether.

Today I can spit a mean water spray through those teeth, and all that space makes flossing a breeze.

In Memory of Barbaro

“Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.”

~George Eliot

Hot...

Annie: "Grandma told me she thought Tony Curtis was a hottie!"

... & Cold

Annie: "Mommy, I'm cold."

Me: "I'm sorry."

Annie: "I mean emotionally, not physically."

Who...?

...made a little snowman on my car this morning?

Quote

“Give up the feeling of responsibility, let go your hold, resign the care of your destiny to higher powers, be genuinely indifferent as to what becomes of it all and you will find not only that you gain a perfect inward relief, but often also, in addition, the particular goods you sincerely thought you were renouncing.”

~William James

Favorite Song Title

"Spurious Behavior."

In the Middle of a Dream

John Lennon never apologized for who he was, for the decisions he made, or for the woman he loved.

When Annie and I sat in the diner this afternoon and "Oh Yoko" played over the sound system, I realized that almost no one lives the way Lennon did.

In that moment I knew--I will live that way, it's the only way I can.

Quote

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”

~Vincent van Gogh

Dirty Rotten, but He's No Scoundrel

One night while taking tickets at the Greek Theatre, I noticed a teenage co-worker having an argument (although she appeared to be the only one arguing,) with a man behind the turnstile. I went over to see if I could lend a hand and asked what the matter was. The exasperated teen was trying to get rid of the man who wanted to see Chaka Kahn but didn’t have a ticket to the sold out show. I looked at the little chap with flaming died red hair, pale skin and gentle eyes, and saw that it was Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols. I was a sucker for the Pistols and Johnny had the face of an angel, so I took his hand and brought him to a vacant seat in the front row.

"Thank you love," he whispered to me.

A Kiki Kind of Morning

Just pretend I'm not here. I'll call for Kimba and you can play with her instead.

After School

Annie: "Mommy, Grandma told me she actually met Tony Curtis when he used to be a waiter!"

Me: "Really?"

Annie: "Yeah. I have to remember to ask her if it was before or after he was famous."

Me: "It was probably before."

Annie: "How come?"

Me: "Well, usually people who are famous don’t have to wait tables."

Annie, "No Mom, it was a really fancy restaurant!"

Listening to at the Moment...

Secret...

I have a friend whose emails I keep, as well as the ones I send to him, in a separate file to remind me of the journey I've been on. Since I still don't know how to make new "Mailboxes," on my computer, I've always kept these emails in the folder marked "Junk."

I cringe every time I transfer one there, because they don't belong in a folder with such a name.

Quote

“Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.”

~Leonard Bernstein

Mustang Memories

Toto, Pete Townsend, Genesis. The first three cassettes I played in this car as I drove my teenage heart out on the streets of L.A.

Favorite Song Title

"Drunken Maria."

Quote

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”

~Mary Manin Morrissey

Greek Goddess

When I was a teenager in Los Angeles I had a summer job at the Greek Theatre in Griffith Park. My girlfriends Lisa and Justine were right beside me as we took tickets, ushered in patrons, and worked the backstage and VIP doors. Every shift included drama: run-ins with drunken customers, entanglements between a staff of sexed-up boys and lovelorn girls, even an ass-groping celebrity or two.

In the coming weeks I'll be digging into the archives of my mind to try and recover some of these stories. They may be short, sweet and few, but the ride will be fun.

Maybe I'll take the Mustang.

From Overheard New York

Tourist son: "But what do they call Chinese food in China?"

Tourist mom, thinking: "I don't know honey, good question."

~36th St & 5th Ave

January 27th 1990

17 years ago tonight David and I were married at the Boathouse in Central Park. It was freezing cold outside but inside there was an abundance of love and warmth. 17 years later we stand in a place we would not have imagined 17 years ago, but in a way we stand in a better place. We’ve held each other's hands through grief, laughed one million times, and shared that feeling of an almost painful love while watching our baby sleep.

17 years later we live under separate roofs but we live in the same house. Our rooms are filled with an abundance of love and warmth; we still hold hands and we still laugh. We are unidentifiable to most and perplexing to some, but we belong to us, only us.

Happy Anniversary David, I love you.

A Real Happy One

Katie: "Do you know why we're having such a great anniversary?"

David: "Mojitos?"

Kaite "No, because it's authentic."

Friday

Annie sits in my lap, she presses her face against mine and I whisper to her, "You are so smart and so beautiful and I love how kind you are to babies and animals. You have a big heart and..."

She leans in close to kiss me and accidentally bangs me with her head.

Me: "... you have a big heart and a hard head."

Annie: "I guess that's better than having a big head and a hard heart!"

Quote

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.”

~Sue Patton Thoele

Quote

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

~Sarah Jessica Parker

Go Back to Bed

The bitter cold took me over last night, I ended my evening earlier than planned, returned home to a hot shower, climbed under the covers and was fast asleep by midnight.

Now I'm wide-awake and as warm as toast, but before you can say "Go back to bed Katie," I'll be sound asleep again.

Partial Party

Today is my half birthday. Just thought we should celebrate... a little.

I am a...

The View from Here

Below my window is garbage, but one day I might look down and see something completely different. It may be altered by my perception, or by the way the sun positions itself in spring, but one thing is certain, it will change.

Katie's Sad Girl's Guide to a Better Day

1. Bring fresh flowers into your home.
2. Have a slice of toasted Eli's Health Bread with Earth Balance butter.
3. Do one thing you were supposed to do but decided not to.
4. Put on a DVD of the British TV comedy series, "Absolutely Fabulous" and watch the episode, "Edina's 40th Birthday."
5. Change your bedspread or comforter.

Quote

"...If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything...”

~Marilyn Monroe

Secret...

My friend Tai taught me to drive when I was 13. Almost three years later I had to get behind the wheel of my father's car and pretend I'd never driven before. Needless to say he was impressed by how quickly I mastered the stick shift.

Rewind me

I want to go back.

Quote

“Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves”

~Friedrich Nietzsche

Introducing Kimba

She's my other alter ego.

Her Face Is the Map of My World

Driving in Manhattan.

At The Half Note...

A Favorite Title

"Slippery, Hippery, Flippery."

Quote

"If someone hugs me, I hold my breath. Snuggling, cuddling, hugging, crying . . . all that stuff makes me very uncomfortable."

Angelina Jolie.

Sign of Interest

Happy Birthday Django

Django Reinhardt

Happy Birthday Bogie

Even Wikipedia will tell you that Humphrey Bogart was born on December 25th, but the truth is, Bogie's publicity people made it up. They figured it would soften his image if he were born on the same day as baby Jesus but he was actually born on this day, January 23rd.

Introducing Kiki

This is Kiki, she's my alter ego. She's been right by my side since childhood, but was only given her name last night.

Be gentle with her, forgive her shortcomings and I assure you, your kindness won't go unnoticed.

"...I'm waiting for me, and I may take a while."

From John Patrick Shanley's, "Women of Manhattan."

Tuesday's