After the recent post, Sexual Healing, more than one man came forward to remind me that they, as well as their friends, do want "real women," and indeed found the girl in the photograph attractive (the same woman accused by the media of being a "fat slob"). One man emailed me and said about his gender, “All we want is to be loved back.”So maybe the problem I speak of isn’t a problem at all. Maybe we are simply being tricked into believing there’s a problem (no need to explain how Corporate America would benefit from creating such a divide), and instead of waking to the truth of “what is,” we turn the matter upside down and inside out, trying to dissect and make sense, all in hopes of finding freedom. Maybe the awakening we need is not to why we are separate, but to the possibility that we have never been apart.
One comment made in response to the post was that women should enjoy their lives more, which at least for the woman making the comment meant adding cream to her coffee and butter on croissants. Although that may be another matter all together (woman’s obsession with body image), maybe she has a point. Maybe all we need is a little more cream in our coffee, an understanding that there is no problem and nothing to fix, and that beneath the illusion and trickery is what we all want: to love and be loved back.
So let's get those cows working overtime, add some sweetness to the cup, and know that where we truly long to be is the place in which we already stand.
4 comments:
And of the countless compliments you've given me over the years, that is one of the loveliest.
I fully agree, I think there has always been a push to define who we "should be". Many buy into it, I wonder how many see a wrinkly body, not as a sign of impending death, but of wisdom and understanding. I agree, as long as health is maintained a woman or man should be able to fully embrace the pleasure of the cream in the coffee. We shouldn't allow propaganda to make us be at war with our bodies. We live in a world that asks us to stand in front of the mirror and look for flaws, I say stand in front of the same mirror and look for beauty. I know every woman I have become friends with has beauty. I don't think that society grants permission to enjoy it.
BTW your blog still freezes my computer.
There's an old Jefferson Airplane song that goes, "You're only as beautiful as you feel, as you feel inside." That's what I believe -- if a person is happy on the inside with themselves, there's nothing sexier. Age, size, shape doesn't matter.
When you are old and grey and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And, bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountain overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
WB Yeats
(Tim again)
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