July 7th 1997

Watched a show called “Real World” last night, I hope it won’t be on when you’re a teenager, so here’s what it’s about—It’s on MTV and it takes seven men and women of different races (mostly white,) with usually one lesbian or homosexual, all in their late teens to mid-twenties, and sticks them in some fabulous house in some cool city and videotapes them night and day for five months. The raw material is edited into half-hour segments, and there is your TV show called “The Real World.”

Every generation has some kind of dumb fad, some kind of revolting thing they flaunt in the faces of their parents to horrify them. All this is done in the name of individuality, but somehow everyone looks the same, they think the same, talk the same, dress the same. They think they’re wild and crazy, living life much fuller than their parents.

Every single generation goes through that. Every one. The costumes change but the people do not.

Anyway, a couple of the really stupid fads in vogue with young people today are: cigar smoking and body piercing.

Cigars stink, they cause lip and throat cancer, they stain your teeth and make your hands smell. Enough said about that.

Body piercing—nose, belly button, eyebrow, nipple, tongue—this is the big sign of rebellion and hipness right now.

Not only do you lisp with a pierced tongue, but food and bacteria collect around it and it just becomes a little garbage heap in your mouth. Plus, you drool a lot.

I’m glad these fads will be quaint when you become a teenager.

I can only imagine what your generation will be into. Global Terrorism? Macramé? Transcending the dumbness of Conform-or-Die society and becoming true individuals connected to the awesomeness of the universe so the world can be changed in a positive, beautiful way?

Work on that with your friends, kid.

Love ya.