Wednesday, October 31, 2007

In real time

In real time

Favorite costume of the night.

Cereal Killer.

In real time

After a 30 hour trip from Australia, David's taken Annie and a friend trick-or-treating while I've got it covered here at the Homestead. I won't dare eat the M&Ms, but I did break off a piece of Dave's good Belgian chocolate to go with the wine and Kenny Burrell.

Arresting Annie.
Off duty.

Happy 40th to the Radical Rev!

My father was a Protestant turned Atheist, my mother was a Jew turned Atheist. I was an adult when I learn that Christmas and Easter had something to do with Christ, and only on rare occasions (weddings, concerts and stays in Europe), do I find myself inside houses of worship. But I count Reverend Shawn Ankenmann from Canada as one of my dear friends, he turns 40 on this Halloween day and Jesus himself would be proud of the man he's become.

Happy birthday Rev!

On the water

On my brother Daniel's boat, Housatonic River, CT. Sunday, October 28th.


Couples who seem to have the most passionate and sexy of relationships tend to also have ways of keeping their sex lives in peak shape by doing the things that most other couples haven't done in a very long time.

For example, I know of a couple who has been married for over twenty years and their sex life is still as hot and passionate as it ever was. They "make out" in their driveway and admit that a part of the thrill for them is the effect it has on the neighbors.

Basic to all "naughtiness" in sex is the element of thumbing our nose at the rest of the world. Breaking rules, after all, is a social act: We cannot be "bad" or "dirty" unless there is a society out there to disapprove... and to threaten to "catch us" at it. For many of us, the "naughtiest" and most thrilling sex there is, is sex which flirts with public discovery.

For some of us, the very idea of "going public" fills our mind with anxiety. There are those of us who are not comfortable with even the tamest of public affection; who cannot even stop and kiss at the corner without being overcome by embarrassment and guilt. That is called shame, and it is unfortunate that there are so many men and women who experience shame as a result of affection, regardless if it is public or not. A public kiss has a tingle all of it's own; a very sexy tingle. It's a great place to start if you would like to add excitement to your relationship.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Sitting at the sidebar

Will It Go Round in Circles?

You bet it will.

Wake up call

It's a quiet morning and Annie stands beside me while I leisurely sip my coffee and pack her lunch for school. Thinking we have all the time in the world, I glance at the clock.

Me: "Oh my God! It's 7:45!"

Annie: "Okay, THAT was a sudden outburst."

In Argentina...

...The sun was pure white and the brightness made flowers shyly half-close their eyes for a moment.

Thanks for that, Cristian René

Monday, October 29, 2007


Annie: "Isn't it funny how Daddy's off having this great adventure, and we're just home having an everyday life?"

My bad

I forgot to announce that Annie has blogged.

Sitting at the sidebar

The Half Note is pleased to have readers from places like India, Pakistan, Argentina and Santa Cruz California, so whenever I post a piece of music, I imagine it inspiring a smile overseas, a tap of a foreign foot, or a memory close to home.

Here's Francis Dunnery along with a great piano solo by David Sancious, helping me spread the joy on this beautiful New York City afternoon.

Click the music player at the sidebar to listen.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Weather predictions

Seven days ago I heard these words in my head: This is going to be a transformative week for you, Katie.

And indeed it's been.

This morning I heard those words again, but the message was different. The storm has passed, the clouds have cleared, and though it may never be smooth sailing ahead for me, I'm always moving closer to a place where the waters are still.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Australia is hot for Cold Tea!

I've been getting regular updates from David who is in Queensland Australia at the Heart of Gold International Film Festival. I'll report more later but for now, the latest news is that our short film, Cold Tea has won the prestigious Director's Choice Award.

Please click here for festival info and I'll continue to keep you updated at The Half.

Cloudy sunny day

It's easy for a dark and rainy morning to remind me that I have no sweetheart, and once upon a time I would have stayed in that story at least until the sun came out again. But I know now that if I wake and roll over to find an empty spot, there is nothing I am missing, nothing I am without. I know that not until it's time, the day is meant for something else. It's meant for Bill Evans and hot coffee, for reading a good book and curling up with my child to watch Fred Astaire dance.

When I wake to a dark, rainy morning and think the sun isn't out, I remind myself that just behind those big grey clouds, the sun is out. It's always out.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Pretty in pillow

The way things aren't

I looked at my computer screen and thought I read the words, Avoid editing. It actually said, Audio editing.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

In real time

Annie's asleep now, but just before she closed her eyes, she improvised a story for me about a group of friends. There was a pickle named Rick, a kernel of corn named Steve, and an olive named Chevrolet.

Tell me

What kind of mommy makes her 10-year-old daughter a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and forgets the jelly?

Thursday night

Just when I thought I'd have a break from myself, just when I thought I was going to jump in and enjoy a lovely swim, I'm back in it. Back in a place I don't want to be; impatient, longing, clipping my own wings and shutting my mouth. But there's that mirror again, the one I can't seem to put down, and though the reflection I see makes me sad, I know that everything is a lesson that takes me closer to the woman I'm supposed to be. I wish I would hurry up and be her, I'm so ready to enjoy the water.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Maternal moment

Putting Annie to bed tonight, she tells me how much she envies Vanessa, the popular girl in her class.

Me: "Listen, Vanessa is a nice girl, but she's an average girl! She'll grow up and marry an average man and have average kids and lead an average life, but you? Annie, you're a miraculous human being whose mind is on fire! You are going to grow up and travel to places like South America, you're going to meet interesting people and fascinating men! You're going to grab hold of life and make wonderful things happen!"

Annie: "I think I like Vanessa's life better."

I must be dreaming

When his woo turns to won't,
My coo turns to con't.

~ A phrase I heard this morning in my sleep.

Note: According to the Katie Dream Dictionary, the word con't rhymes with won't, and its definition is can't.

In real time

It's 4:00 a.m., and because I chose to consume an excessive amount of caffeine late yesterday, I have not fallen asleep yet. Since I must rise in 2 hours and 45 minutes from now, I think I'll do what my father would advise.

Click here while I go and clean David's kitchen; he's on a plane to Australia and Annie is in the next room dreaming.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Leading lady

I am the star of my own life. I welcome being a co-star in someone else's life, but I have no interest in being anyone's extra.


I will...

... blog soon, post good music, and be to kind to animals and small children.



Monday, October 22, 2007

Beautiful birthday girl

Fellow blogger Prairie Preacher was thoughtful enough to post this video in honor of Annie's birthday today, so I will too.


Chrysanthemums are one of the most popular flowers in the world, next only to the rose.

Monday morning

Annie: "What time was I born?"

Me: "12:48 P.M."

Annie: "Darn, I'm still 9."

Happy Birthday!

To the love of my life, the girl of my dreams.

Happy Birthday Annie Kosh, she turns 10-years-old today.

Annie Mommy Morning

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Change of plants

I didn't see the Japanese chrysanthemum, but a pretty day in the neighborhood spent in good company ain't too shabby.

Unsolicited advice from me

After 1:00 AM., don't attempt to write something that makes sense to anyone but yourself.

Sitting at the sidebar

Bill Evans, Nardis.

Unsolicited advice from me

Never send emotional emails after midnight.

Sit, stay

A puppy is being trained against her will, but all she wants to do is play. Surely it's for her own good that she learns to be controlled, protective and cautious; this is life after all and there is danger everywhere.

A puppy on a leash swings by on new legs, and as you cross her path she looks into your eyes. She's saying hello, telling you how happy she is to be there. She doesn't know to question; she assumes you're happy to be there too. So once you return her gaze and smile, she pulls free and knocks you down. In that moment she is unbridled and unapologetic, in that moment there is nothing but a burst of joy and its matching physical reaction. She has no doubt that you will receive her like a gift, and she doesn't imagine she'd be met with a Sit. Stay. Stop. The moment ends abruptly when she feels the tightening of the chain around her neck, pulled by a firm but gentle hand, and she is stunned and slightly embarrassed. She licks her lips and the skin on her back contracts. She looks to her handler and asks her first question.

Why can't I?

A puppy is trained against her will and has no interest in knowing that love isn't easy or that it can hurt, or that not everyone wants it or wants to give it. She has no desire to learn about trust, that it's something to be earned. Her training is a complicated thing, a mixed bag and a cruel joke. It brings her illusions to the surface and forces her to leave them behind, like that stick in the park that gave her such pleasure but was really no good for her after all.

A puppy who is grown is trained to guard her heart; a heart that, regardless of her attempts to make it sit, stay and stop, is building itself a wall.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I'm here!

Just working, will be back soon.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Sitting at the sidebar

A favorite by Al Green.

Click the music player at the sidebar.

You say Virgina

Annie: "Mom!" What in the world are you reading?"

Katie: "The Vagina Monologues."

Annie: "I wish you would read the Virginia Monologues, I think that would be more appropriate!"

Monday, October 15, 2007

In real time

A glass of wine and the computer will live.
Home reading, a little writing and a bit of Burrell.

Sitting at the sidebar

Here's another of my all-time favorite pieces of music, Haitian Fight Song. It's performed by The Charles Mingus Big Band who, lucky for me, plays every Tuesday night at Iridium.

Click the music player on the sidebar to listen.

More on Charles Mingus.

Weekend image #1

Columbus Avenue near 83rd Street.

Weekend image #2

Symphony Space, NYC.


"Life changes fast, life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."

~Joan Didion