Monday, July 30, 2012
I know that peace doesn't equal death, but I don't really know it. I know that love is kind, but I don't really know it. I know I've been with men who keep me at bay, keep me down, or just keep me, and I know I don't want that again-I know that.
I know I'm supposed to want what my brother says I should want, or what my friends think I should want, but the truth is, I don't know what I want. I do know I'm not going to want anything until I want it, and until I want it, I just want this. The sound of waves, just me, alone and always on the verge of something big.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Was it mine? I don't know. It was a dream.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Sunday, July 08, 2012
Elisa: I saw a really good film about a paraplegic and his African attendant.
Me: I heard about that one-Mom, you saw that didn't you?
Mom: Yes I did-it was with Dustin Hoffman.
Elisa: The one I saw wasn't with Dustin Hoffman-we must be talking about two different films.
Mom: The movie I saw was about a man in a wheelchair and the relationship between him and his African caregiver. The man in the wheelchair was played by Dustin Hoffman.
Elisa: That's so strange because that's the same story of the movie that I'm talking about, but the star wasn't Dustin Hoffman-it was a French actor.
Me: Wait a minute! I watched a French film last night called "Tell No One." It was sort of a mystery-thriller and I thought the male lead bore an uncanny resemblance to Dustin Hoffman-even his mannerisms were like Hoffman's. If Mom saw a film that appears to be the same film as the one you saw, Elisa, and you are certain the lead was a Frenchman, might it be possible that the actor in question is the same one that starred in the film I watched last night?
Mom: Maybe, but I would be very surprised.
Me: Let me Google his name.
I show my mother and Elisa a picture of French actor, François Cluzet.
Elisa: That's him!
Mom: That's him!
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
Stand up, I kept telling myself. If you don't stand up, when he discovers you have the heart, he's going to kill you.
I suddenly found myself outside of the house in the night. I had the heart in one hand, a set of keys in the other, and I ran toward a metal gate that surrounded the compound. I fumbled with the keys until I realized there was no lock-I was free to go, but my car was gone-my captor had taken it so I wouldn't get far.
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
I turned around and saw her there smiling.
"I don't feel so beautiful these days," I said. She looked at me up and down and still smiling she replied,"You don't know the value of your youth. Someday you will."
"Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed-too sensitive, too mushy, too wishy-washy, blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things-whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle...a footstep-feel it all-look around you. All of this is for you. Give it and feel love."