Sunday, February 28, 2010

What I want

I want cigarettes and red licorice to be good for you, martinis to make you feel as happy in the morning as they made you feel last night. I want little girls to know their value, and little boys to know their beauty--I want an apartment flooded with light, and a really good book to read. Oh yeah, and I want love. Gotta have me some love.

Ad buster

Annie: "When we get home, can I wash my room with Windex?"

Me: "Uh... OK."

Annie: "I saw a commercial that said, 'Wash your room with Windex!'"

Me: "Hey, since when did you stop adhering to the rule about muting the commercials?"

Annie: "Mom, I never mute the commercials anymore! Besides, it's not like I'm actually going to start buying the products they're advertising!"

Me: "But you just said you wanted to wash your room with Windex."

Annie: "Oh. Right. Good point."


Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sitting at the sidebar

Annie is like a melody in my head, and sometimes I like listening to the music she listens to... just because she listens to it.

Click on the music player to hear what's currently playing in her head.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Armchair psychology 101

I suppose that all my life, I've been looking for a man who has integrity, who is mentally strong and emotionally sound. A protective man with youthful eyes and a playful nature. A man who expresses himself honestly and respectfully, and who doesn't expect greatness from me because he already thinks I am great.

I suppose that all my life, I've just been looking for a man like my dad.


I stood in the sun in the cold, and saw a blue gumball next to my shoe. An old Chinese man crossed my path, and a tall woman walked a furry black dog. I was listening to music, and as I looked down at the gumball, then up at the sky, I knew that everyone was listening with me.

Thoughts in real time

My father died on February 16th, 1996. This past February 16th was the first one since then that came and went without me remembering. I only remembered it just now, when I spotted the date on my calendar. I also just realized that I no longer think of him every day, a thought that startles and saddens me.

I miss my dad. I miss how much he loved me, I miss feeling safe in the world because he was in it.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sitting at the sidebar

I'm having a new romance. It's the most intense, and honest, and loving experience I have ever known--and it's with myself.

No desire to dedicate this song to anyone tonight but me.

Alexi Murdoch, Blue Mind


It's great to be with someone who wants you to be better than you are, and greater to be with someone who wants you to be just as you are.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Leo horoscope by Rob Brezsny

Of all the symbols in the world, the swastika is the most horrendous. As the logo for Hitler's Nazi movement, it will forever smack of evil. But it didn't used to be that way. In many cultures throughout history, from the Greeks to the Hindus to the Native Americans, the swastika was a representation of the sun's path across the sky, and was regarded as highly auspicious, even a good luck charm. Can you think of a more modest equivalent of this phenomenon in your own life, Leo? A formerly wonderful thing that got spoiled somewhere along the way? The coming weeks will be a good time to determine whether you could redeem and rehabilitate it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Sitting at the sidebar

I'm growing up, developing new muscles and a thicker skin, but my heart is still precious territory.

Here's a little song for a big city night.

Click the music player to listen.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Sitting at the sidebar

This song is for my friend Tai--who I've known almost all of my life, and who I miss all of my days.

Click the music player to listen.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Ain't talkin' 'bout love...

... but you know I will again... one day.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

All in a day

Gave a massage, had Margaritas, straightened my underwear drawer, covered my daughter in down.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Thought in real time

Whatever becomes of us, he has taught me more about myself than any man ever has. And what I've learned, makes me want to come out of hiding.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Thoughts in real time

Sometimes I feel like the craziest person I know, but I suspect I'm one of the sanest. After second paycheck, hair cut and colored. I know what love looks like when I look in his eyes. Gonna get me those black boots.

Monday, February 01, 2010

All in a day

Dreamed of owning thigh-high boots, edited video footage of prostitutes, and sang Won't You Come Home Bill Bailey with an old man in front of a candy store.