Unsolicited Advice From Me

When you're in the parking lot of the supermarket, always return your cart to its proper place. Unless of course you're freezing your ass off, then just leave the cart anywhere, run like hell to your car, get in and drive away as fast as you can.

Always ask yourself if there's more and if the answer is yes, then do your best to get it.

Never let someone attempt to put a filling in your tooth without first administering Novocain.

When your child tells you a story, it's okay if you don't listen to every word they say, but always be present to the sound of their voice and the look on their face.

Don't watch "Lord of the Rings" before bed, even if you're 43-years old and know it's not real.