Music migration

The road turns, I move in directions both familiar and new. No map, no destination, just a commitment to what comes.

Sitting at the sidebar

A favorite.

The truth

I must be fly.

In real time

Annie sleeps, I pay bills--with Zero 7 in my ears and Pama on my lips.

From the box to the bar

I don't love classical, but I do love cello, so pandora.com gave me Zoë!

Click the music player to hear.

Thought in real time

I can't dance someone else's steps, I can only dance my own.

In real time

Warm breeze through the window--peaceful city night. Annie and her friend prepare for bed--I listen to the stream of music and wait for the next song.

I have romantic love all around me--sometimes like a whipping wind, sometimes like a storm, and sometimes like a clear sky. Yet 347 days out of the last 365, I have gone to bed and woken up alone.

Tonight

Me: "I'm drunk, but not so drunk that I can't see there's dog shit in front of me."

Missing

Anyone seen Cristian today?

What a girl wants

I want to take a trip somewhere, and dance in the streets to the song at the sidebar.

The song at the sidebar

No matter how long we live, or how life unfolds--regardless of what we think we are and are not--we always, somewhere, possess the heart of a young lover.

Sitting at the sidebar

Brown-eyed boy meets green-eyed girl. Love is the answer.

Breakfast, April 19th 2009

Me: "Bruce, would you like a bowl of porridge?"

Bruce: "Who am I, Spanky?"

Happy Birthday Gary Regina!

Today I celebrated with Margaritas before noon, and now I'm hangin' with Bruce, who just had "Couth" tattooed on his ass!

Much love!

Breakfast, April 17th 2009

Bread with goat cheese and figs. Coffee. Sun pouring in and no work to do.

Bad advertising

I saw an ad for maxdelivery.com. It reads: We deliver wine, food, dvds and cigarettes in one hour, so why go out? Downtown New York only.

Why go out? BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN DOWNTOWN NEW YORK!

A good thing

This picture was taken almost two years ago. My appearance is the same, but the rest of me, at least to myself, is completely unrecognizable.

Luck, karma, and everything in between

A little out of the ordinary for The Half Note--here's a video of good things that happen, and bad things that don't. If you can sit through it all, please take notice of the bank robber clip--definitely my favorite.

In real time

My daughter's hormones are raging (against me), a baby is crying, and the neighbor is screaming. I feel as if I belong to everyone and no one, to myself the least, and after weeks of erratic behavior, my computer has wiped out all of my settings and preferences, and erased all of my contacts and emails.

Fucking fitting somehow.

In real time

Tired, uninspired, accepting whatever comes, and whatever doesn't.

Sitting at the sidebar

For Cristian--when there's too much pressure in your day.

Look at the light in my kitchen this morning!

Evolving 101

Please don't ask me to meet for lunch, pick you up, read your script or come for dinner. Please don't wonder if I'm OK., I am OK., I promise. Please don't ask why I don't blog--I don't want to blog, I may never blog. Please don't need me unless it's half of me, because the other half is not around.

I don't want a witness while I walk in the mud, and I'd rather be judged than evaluated. I'd rather be left alone than touched, disliked than desired, but when I call you all back, promise you'll come running.

Evolving 101

Letting go of illusions feels like death and like freedom.

Secret in real time

When I have someone stay with me, I feel responsible for every horn honking, every baby crying, and every phone that rings at 2am. I feel that somehow it's my fault if my guest doesn't get a good night sleep.

In my dreams

Last night I dreamed of down pillows and saxophones, and a confusing parade that woke me from sleeping.

Sitting at the sidebar

You can't make things work by wishing, and you can't make someone love you enough to build a life with you. I know the universe is unfolding as it should--but I still feel longing, and I still like this song.

Google earth

When I was eleven, my family moved from San Francisco to 633 N. Mariposa Avenue in Los Angeles. I remember the Wentworth kids across the street and two doors down--a realer version of the Brady Bunch. I remember listening to the radio for hours, imagining what it might be like to fall in love with a handsome boy. I remember riding minibikes in the abandoned dirt lot, and the two boys who called me Kike. I remember finding newborn kittens in the garage, and looking out my bedroom window at the palm trees, wishing a wild parrot would land and be mine.

In the mouth

I was once with a man who, while I was putting on eye-liner said to me: Wow, it's amazing what a little make-up can do!

Sitting at the sidebar

For the fro'.

Leo Horoscope by Rob Brezsny

April 2, 2009

Philosopher Bertrand Russell wasn't so much interested in the "will to believe." Rather, he preferred "the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." Your assignment, Leo, is to try his approach. Regard it as an experiment that you'll have fun with. For a few days, refuse to jump to any conclusions whatsoever. Be skeptical of all theories about why things are the way they are. See if you can thrive without clinging to any ideology. Instead, be bursting with the intention to discover the raw truth, no matter where that leads you, and even if it seems to contradict your rules to live by.

Joke by me

Q: What do you call Aaron's mom when she gets too thin?
A: Mini Coop.