The intense desire to have a relationship, or a specific situation work out exactly the way you want or need it to, is a form of perfectionism and control. It creates a tunnel vision around your own reality that keeps you at a distance from the world unfolding around you. It clouds your ability to see things the way they really are.
In essence, it's a fight against the way life itself is unfolding. The only thing you can control is how you respond when things unfold in a way other than what you wanted. The only thing you can control is you.