After experiencing disappointment away, and then a loss (separate) when I returned home, I had my first moments alone tonight, and the effects of it all came through in a flood of tears. It felt as if it would never end, this feeling, this me lying on top of my bed, curled into a position that one might be instructed to assume in a trench while bombs were dropping overhead-as if that would save you.
But then without a conscious thought, I got up, went into the shower and washed myself clean. Later, as I stood wrapped in my favorite pink towel, I looked in the mirror and my heart lifted.
No doubt before I'm old and then gone, my heart will be heavy again many times over. But it's that moment in the mirror that I know so well, and that reminds me of how, for no apparent or obvious reason, the spirit can be freed-just like that.